Zaki and I had a bedtime talk the other day, about me who had just changed my current crush from Alexander Skarsgård to Thomas Beaudoin. He found it’s bit strange because I change my crush like a girl changes her dress (yeah, just like that Katy Perry’s song 😆). Very quickly.
Unlike him who’s “committed” to Jennifer Aniston since F.R.I.E.N.D.S was still the biggest show on TV (I know. It’s so last year, right? Told Zaki already!). None of my crushes stayed for more than a month. I’m too easy to fall for someone indeed. I watch a movie for once and I can instantly crazy over one of the characters. It’s been like that since forever. I once obsessed with Jude Law, Matthew Goode, Hugh Grant, Hugh Jackman, Josh Hutcherson, Miles Teller, Armie Hammer, Shah Rukh Khan, Chris Pratt, Alexander Skarsgård and the list went on. Currently, I’m smitten by a Canadian actor: Thomas Beaudoin which I first noticed from a cheesy romantic comedy on Netflix 😅. But I’m 100% sure it won’t last long. Give me few weeks and I will easily move to another crush. Haha. That’s just how it is. Easy come, easy go.
That talk later brought me back to years ago, to the the moment when I said “yes” to marry Zaki. Somehow, that not-so-important bedtime talk made me realise that Zaki is the only exception. I met some guys before him but none could make me (or whatever we had that time) to stay. Maybe I was just too young. Or maybe it’s just me. I thought I liked someone but then I easily lost the sparks (even for ridiculous reason!). But Zaki was (and still is) different. No matter how often he drives me nut. How sometimes he made me sad. In the end of the day, I always fall for him. Over and over again. Either because I realise I had my part in our fights. Or because he apologised for making me mad. We even ever had a break on our first months of relationship (which was lasted only for half an hour 😆). But for some reasons we always fall for each other again.
I think that’s the difference between love and crush. You can easily change your crush, but you can hardly change your love. Love is indeed a gift. We tend to take it for granted. But to keep falling in love, always with the same person, I think it’s a teamwork. We need to work on it. We need to keep the sparks alive. And I’m glad I got Zaki in my team.
Some people once asked why it’s Zaki. Why him? How can I be so sure that he’s the one? How can I know? What do I see in him? and so on. Honestly, I don’t know. Some people say that you should marry someone who can make you laugh the loudest. Some others say that you can marry someone if you could spend more than 8 hours with him/her. Well, Zaki meets those criteria. And the fact that I’m still blushing every time he says he loves me. The fact that his hug is still one of my favourite places in the world. Maybe that’s why it’s him and always him.
I think Dalai Lama is right. Give someone you love wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay. That’s exactly what Zaki’s been doing in the last eleven years. And that’s exactly why I love him. With him, I got my wings, my roots, and my reasons to stay. Just like what I wrote long time ago:
“From that day on, you’re the only one I’d never get bored of, and loving you, is the only job I’d never have a day off.”
Hayu Hamemayu 
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