Another question I used to ask was how long this search takes. Later I found out that the answer is “from one second to infinity”. I know someone who found her Oddenicus only thirty-five days after she was born. But many have been left wandering in Abscissus for too long. Searching for their opposites for decades and still found none. And I am not an exception.
It was my thirtieth year in Abscissus and I hadn’t found the Evenity I should click to. The one who was destined for me to cross to The Ordinant together. I had met tens of Evenity, but none of them made me feel whatever it was I should feel. So, I didn’t really try anymore. I mean I tried sometimes but I didn’t even bother if I would ever find her or not. For me, the search was no longer ecstatic.
I was “born” to a girl named Mag. At the time when the dawn just broke and the morning mist wrapped us like a blanket. We were born to each other. Unlike some other Shades who were born to adults because their previous “shadows” have left them to The Ordinant, I was assigned to Mag when she was born to this world. And since then, I’m glued to her.
I knew from the very beginning that my bonding with Mag was different. When she was little she would talk to me while walking to school, before sleeping, anytime, as if she knew I was always around. I didn’t reply though as I had to keep my identity a secret. Her parents thought she was talking to her imaginary friend. Later during her teenage times when she told her parents that sometimes she felt like someone was following her, they took her to a psychiatrist. There was no one of course, it was just me. And after the sessions, she was trying to ignore me for years although sometimes I found her looking at her shadow, at me, hard and long enough as if she’s trying to figure something out.
As time went by, every time I looked at Mag’s face when she’s sleeping, I realized how long we had been together and how I felt enough just being her companion. I realized, I didn’t mind staying in this human world for many more years because I felt that Mag knew me, understood me, even before she found out whom I really am.
That night was the usual night out with the other Oddenicus. One of the nights when Oddenicus and Evenity gather in a hope to find the right partner for each other. I had considered to stop attending the meet up honestly since it seemed didn’t work for me. But that night, I thought I’d give my last shot.
The Shades can only left our humans when it’s totally dark, so midnight is usually the most appropriate time for such a gathering. It really depends on our humans’ characters, but we know our humans like the back of our hands. We understand their routines like they are our own, so we know when it is safe to leave them. Of course there are times when they woke up before we returned, but they never found out. Humans never really pay attention to their shadows anyway.
As for Mag and me, I usually sneaked out when she’s in a deep sleep, around 1 in the morning. Then I’d come back 3 or 4 hours later to find her still sleeping on her left side, her favourite. But that night when I came back, I found her sitting at the edge of her bed, looking at the open window. She didn’t turn the lamp on but the lights from the other buildings were enough to show one side of her face.
I was trying to sneak in gently when her voice stopped me: “Where were you?”